At the start of the COVID lockdown, I did a quick bit of research to help me navigate what I saw to be incarceration. I wondered what people did who had come out of imprisonment better. Three basic things emerged: a daily physical practice, a daily spiritual practice, and a daily learning practice. I thought, “I can do that.” And I did. I look back on the COVID-era as awful, but I did emerge stronger.
Yesterday morning, waking feeling as though I had just received a diagnosis for an increasingly common form of aggressive cancer, I did a similar bit of quick research.
There are several critical practices that research has shown to be particularly helpful for people who have successfully navigated severe cancer diagnoses.
Super simplified:
Be actively engaged in your physical care.
Maintain social connection.
Use psychological coping strategies.
Lean into your meaning and purpose.
For those of us who share Sam Hodges's feelings, “… it felt like blunt force trauma. I was stunned and consumed by disbelief. I felt a moral disorientation…the reprieve we so earnestly needed is not coming.” The actions of the cancer metaphor resonate with the moment.
They are all ways to manage through that ‘blunt force trauma.’
We hold trauma in our bodies. Caring for and moving them helps us not become stuck, as does caring for and being cared for by our communities. If you’re freaked out, use your coping strategies*.
The last one, leaning into our meaning and purpose, is the most interesting and motivating to me. I believe it’s the fundamental element, the source material for survival.
One of my discoveries in that COVID-era daily learning practice is this from Irish Nobel poet Seamus Heaney, “Hope is not optimism, which expects things to turn out well, but something rooted in the conviction that there is good worth working for.”
I hope this time deepens your sense of your good worth working for.
* Examples of psychological coping strategies
Mindfulness and Meditation
It involves staying present in the moment
Reduces anxiety about the future and rumination about the past
It can be as simple as focused breathing for a few minutes daily
It helps manage stress and emotional reactions.
Cognitive Reframing
Identifying negative thought patterns
Challenging unhelpful assumptions
Finding alternative, more balanced perspectives
It is particularly effective for managing anxiety and depression.
Social Support and Connection
Actively reaching out to trusted friends and family
Sharing concerns and feelings with others
Joining support groups or communities
Maintaining regular social connections, even briefly.